dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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