Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
