WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
