Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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