Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
