Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
