those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
