Umm I'm too high to move.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
