the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
