if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
