I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
