You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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