i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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