You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
