if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
