Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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