We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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