Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize