Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
