So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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