fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
