i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize