He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
