I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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