so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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