he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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