so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
