how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
