shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
