all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
