I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
