A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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