what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
