Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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