I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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