Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
