Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
