Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
