Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
