your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
