Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
