so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
