She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
