He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
