dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
