Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We got so high we made milksteak
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
