its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
