I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize