Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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