you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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