we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
