i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize