U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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