I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize