dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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