Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize