My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
