why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
