The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
