I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
