I heard we made out
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Boobs speak an international language.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
